What Kind of “Guy” Are You? DJ Alex Gutierrez

What Kind of “Guy” Are You?

I recently attended a dinner party, a civilized gathering of couples where wine is poured, bread is broken, and eventually the men mysteriously drift away from their partners like migrating geese to form their own huddle. Inevitably, the conversation turned to sports.

Now, one of my biggest social fears is the moment all eyes swivel toward me for “commentary.” You know, something deep about the quarterback’s arm strength or whether the coach’s decision on third-and-short showed real guts or just indigestion. And every time, my heart sinks because my only safe response is:
“I’m not really a Sports Guy. Music is my thing.”

That’s right. I’m not the guy who can name backup tight ends from the 1984 Dolphins roster. I’m the guy who can tell you what the DJ played at a club that closed in 1979 in Coconut Grove . The Bouncer's name and the last song that was played on their closing night. Oh what record label it was on.

It got me thinking: in the grand taxonomy of men, what kind of “Guy” are you? Society has created all these tribes:

The Sports Guy – He can recite stats from memory and owns more jerseys than actual shirts. He treats ESPN like a religious channel.
The Car Guy – This guy speaks in horsepower and torque, and gets visibly offended when you ask, “So, is that… like a fast car?”
The Boat Guy – He’ll casually drop phrases like “starboard” and “dry dock” while you’re still Googling “what is port again?”
The DIY Guy – This guy sees a trip to Home Depot the way others see a vacation in Paris. He measures twice, cuts once, and judges you silently for hiring “a guy.”
The Music Guy – That’s me. My version of play-by-play commentary sounds like: “Listen to that bassline. Legendary. Oh, and yes, I can absolutely tell you what 12-inch mix this is.”
and countless other categories.

Of course, you can be more than one “Guy.” Maybe you’re a Sports-and-Car Guy. Or a DIY-and-Craft-Beer Guy. Heck, there’s probably even a Fantasy-Football-and-Craft-Kombucha Guy out there.

But here’s the problem: when you’re in a group dominated by Sports Guys and you announce, “I’m not a Sports Guy,” the room suddenly looks at you the way people look at someone who says they don’t like pizza. Confusion. Concern. Mild suspicion. Ocassionally I am compelled to ask any " Cat Guys" here tonight? But I usually refrain.

So next time I’m cornered, I might just flip the script. Instead of saying “I’m the Music Guy,” I’ll say, “Well, I’m not a Sports Guy… but ask me anything about 80s drum machines, and I’ll give you a TED Talk.”

Because in the end, the truth is: whatever “Guy” you are, own it. Whether you’re into touchdowns, transaxles, or turntables—there’s a group somewhere waiting to nod knowingly at your commentary.

What kind of " Guy": are You?

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