WILL DJ FOR EGGS Alex Gutierrez

WILL DJ FOR EGGS

The Egg-cellent Price Hike: Why I Want Eggs More Than Ever

You know what they say—everything's more valuable when you can't afford it. Case in point: eggs. I’ll admit it: eggs were never really on my radar. I was that person who bought them without a second thought, shoving them in the cart alongside bread and milk. Eggs were just... there. A humble, dependable staple. A little oval-shaped miracle I took for granted, like my ability to make scrambled eggs without breaking a sweat.

But now? Eggs are practically gold. A dozen is more expensive than my entire lunch sometimes, and you can forget about finding a bargain. The price of eggs has soared, and guess what? That makes me crave them more than ever.

When I was a kid, eggs weren’t about how much they cost, but what we did with them—namely, launching them at rival neighborhood kids in Little Havana on Halloween. Ah, the thrill of a well-aimed egg against an unsuspecting house. You didn’t even think about the price of eggs back then—your main concern was the risk of getting caught (and possibly pelted with an old " Chancleta"). But now, I’d probably have a full-on meltdown if I dropped one on the floor. There goes $5! Gasp! It’s like losing a small, fragile treasure.

Eggs, once a forgettable part of life, are now a luxury I can’t stop thinking about. I dream of making omelets, of crafting the perfect sunny-side-up breakfast, of—dare I say it—maybe even throwing one at someone, but only in the most financially responsible way. Maybe a gentle toss. No more full-on egging assaults. . Honestly, I’d probably accept eggs as “tips” now. In fact, if you drop a dozen in my hand while I’m spinning, I might even throw on some Bad Bunny as a thank-you, NO ....MAKE THAT TWO DOZEN. I can see it now: “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s get this party going—and by party, I mean eggs.”

And yet, despite the price tag, my love for eggs has never been stronger. Maybe it’s a rebellion against inflation, or maybe it’s just the human condition: you always want what you can’t afford. One thing’s for sure, if eggs keep getting more expensive, I’ll be looking at every omelet like it's the last one I’ll ever make.

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