What is Love? Baby, Don’t Hurt Me

 What is Love? Baby, Don’t Hurt Me

I'm not a " Love Expert" by any means . These are my opinions and thoughts. and I am very much interested in yours. ( leave your comments below)

As we grow older, our understanding of love becomes more complex and nuanced. For those in their 50s and 60s, having experienced multiple relationships or marriages, the search for love feels different than it did in our younger years. The idea of a soulmate, "one true love," and the desire for companionship in later life are shaped by our life experiences.

During a conversation with a lifelong friend—both of us veterans of several marriages and currently in fulfilling relationships—we discussed the challenges and possibilities of finding love at this stage of life. Despite our happiness, we couldn't ignore the reality that many people face difficulty navigating relationships as they grow older. I see alot of single people out there in the nightclubs I work at. But is true love a once-in-a-lifetime experience, or can we find it again? And as we age, does love change? Do we seek security more than passion?

Our understanding of love shifts as we move through different stages of life. In our younger years, love often feels exciting, spontaneous, and filled with infatuation. But as we age, those intense feelings evolve into a more grounded, nuanced understanding. In our 50s and 60s, we develop a deeper sense of what we truly need and want from a relationship. The passion of youth may not burn as fiercely, but in its place comes a steady companionship that offers comfort, mutual respect, and shared understanding.

At this stage, we tend to prioritize emotional maturity, compatibility, and shared values. We’re no longer blinded by the thrill of novelty, instead seeking a connection built on stability. The intensity of the "spark" is still important—the kind of spark that sweeps us off our feet and leaves us breathless. But now, it’s tempered with a desire for emotional alignment and long-term compatibility.

The nightclub business, where I’ve spent much of my life as a DJ, has always been a challenging environment for relationships. In my younger years, I prioritized my career over family and friends, chasing fame and fortune. For many DJs and musicians, that quest can come at a heavy personal cost. The collateral damage often includes relationships with those we love, as the pursuit of success blinds us to what truly matters.

At 47, I made a conscious decision to seek a lasting connection. I had learned from past relationships and was determined to approach each new one with the goal of finding a life partner, not just a temporary companion. When I met Betty, it was love at first sight. But what made our relationship different was our commitment to having honest, upfront conversations about what we each wanted in a relationship. This transparency became the foundation of our bond, allowing us to grow together and build a fulfilling life. She embraced my DJ career, even becoming an integral part of my events. Now, she ensures our friends are comfortable and well taken care of at the places I play.

For those in their 50s and 60s, the journey to love may look different, but it’s no less meaningful. With age comes clarity. We understand ourselves better and have a clearer sense of what we need in a partner. Love is very much possible at any stage of life, and it often arrives when we least expect it—provided we are ready to embrace it with open hearts and minds.

The key in my opinion, is to remain open, communicate honestly, and be intentional about what we want from a relationship. Love in later years can be just as profound, just as real—and sometimes, even more fulfilling than before.